PARENTING HIGHLY
CAPABLE CHILDREN
By Susan Winebrenner
1.
It’s
very important to remember that your gifted child is first a child.
They need love and controls, attention and
discipline. They seem to need a
reason for everything, so you should accept this need as a part of their ability
and not
as a challenge to your
authority. They key is to give
them choices whenever possible while retaining your authority.
2.
Listen to your child. The
endless questions reflect the gifted child’s unusual curiosity.
Don’t be afraid to tell your child
that you don’t know the answer to
some questions. Your job is to help
guide them to find the information themselves.
3.
Don’t compare your gifted child to other children, siblings, or
peers. Try not to discuss their
ability with other people
in a way that makes it sound like you are primarily
proud of them because of their intelligence.
Gifted children need to
understand that their advanced learning ability
makes them different, not better, than their age peers; and that they are
perfectly normal in their own right.
4.
The gifted child needs time to daydream, be silly, lie on the bed
and contemplate things. Be patient
when your child
seems unable to stay with a topic for very long, or finds one
and never wants to go on to another. They
have a vital
need to acquire information and store it away for future reference.
5.
Encourage your children because all people need encouragement to
stay goal-oriented. Praise their
efforts as well as
outcomes. Also
praise their ability to take a risk when something doesn’t work out well.
6.
Many gifted persons have difficulty dealing with the issue of perfectionism.
Perfectionists believe that they will only be
valued when they do
exceptionally great things. They need consistent experience learning that they are valued
just as
much when they are not “perfect”.
7.
Gifted children must learn that true learning is a struggle!
A grade lower than an “A” may indicate the student is
struggling to
learn new material. The longer a
student’s experience with struggle is postponed, the more difficult it may
be
for them to develop study skills needed in these situations.
Remember that colleges are very interested in
“well-rounded” students
and a few “B’s” will probably not prevent the student’s admission.
Intelligence is not the
same thing as effortlessness!
8. Do whatever you can
to help your child find a suitable friend – one who is just as capable as your
son or
daughter and who shares the same interests. Many gifted individuals
are content with one or two close
friends. It is not productive to insist that they socialize with age peers if
they’d rather not.
9.
Be aware that gifted girls have special problems as they are
conditioned as they get older by society to be more
feminine and less
intellectual. Emphasize that the
best jobs require as much training in math and science as possible.
Encourage them to take these classes and excel in them.
10.
Many pressures accompany exceptional learning ability.
When gifted youngsters continually hear about the contribution
they will
someday make to the world, it may cause them to worry about what will happen if
they don’t succeed. Try to
encourage, but not overemphasize, their ability to impact the future.
11.
Gifted people usually have many careers they might follow.
They may experience a great deal of stress and indecision
as a result.
Encourage them to “follow their passion” rather than to try to
fulfill anyone else’s goals for them.
12.
Parents of gifted children are people too!
Recognize your need for help and guidance in understanding and
dealing
with the special needs of your children.
Become a member of your school’s parent group and visit your state’s
annual
conference for those involved in the lives of gifted children.
13.
Enjoy! Of all the
problems children can have, being gifted is a good one!
As you help your child take pride in his or
her accomplishments while
learning to accept other children as they are, you will be able to relax and
enjoy the
excitement of parenting gifted children.